none of this is real life it is just stupid stuff made up by people



what is a cats favorite TV program
Miami mice

what brand of gas do snails prefer
shell

what do you give a sick pig
oinkment

what do you call a traveling flee
an itch-hiker

what do glow worms eat
light snacks

its raining cats and dogs so i know i just stepped in a poodle

what do cows play at party's
mooooooosical chairs

how many sheep does it take to knit a sweater
i dont even know cause they cant even knit

what do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede
a walke-talke

so why did the dinosaur cross the road
because chickens hadn't been invented yet

what do you call a penguin that is in the desert
lost

where do you find out where a flea has bitten you
start from scratch

what exactly is a slug
a snail with a housing problem

has your cat ever had flees
no shes just had kittens

my wife wouldn't buy a bed at the local furniture store because their slogan was-we stand behind every bed we sell

SNOWBALL-
i made myself a snow ball as perfect as could be
i thought id keep it as a pet and let it sleep with me
i made it some cloths and a pillow for its head
then last night it ran away but first it wet the bed

SCALE-
if i could only see the scale im sure that it would state
that ive lost ounces or maybe even pounds
or possiblely tons of weight you'd better eat some pancakes your skinny as a rail
im sure the the scale would say.........
if i could only see the scale-thats my only problem

LITTLE PIGGEYS TREAT-
said the pig to his pop
theres the candy shop oh please lets go inside
and i promise i wont make a kid of myself if you'll give me a people back ride